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  • Hub You - How To Get Out of Your Dating Rut

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    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you do

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    It seems many of us fall into dating patterns where the same thing happens again and again, but we don’t know how to change it. Instead of beating ourselves up over it, we asked Marni Kamins and Janice MacLeod, authors of The Dating Repair Kit, how we can stop the cycle and have the fabulous love life we all deserve.

    SM: What are some ways we can get out of a dating rut?

    MK: Stop saying yes to everyone who asks you out. Because I know sometimes you can get in a rut and then you go out and [think], “This guy just said I’m cute, and he’s a lawyer, and he lives here, and he’s really great except I’m totally not attracted to him, but I’ll go out with him anyway and maybe I could be attracted to him.” The thing is: If you can’t be attracted to him then you can’t be attracted to him.

    JM: If you’re dating the same person over and over then that’s a pattern in you, it’s not a pattern in them. So what you want to do is look at what is similar in all these guys and go, “Hmm, clearly that’s my problem.”

    SM: What day-to-day activities can we do to meet new, quality people?

    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you do

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    ave the fabulous love life we all deserve.

    SM: What are some ways we can get out of a dating rut?

    MK: Stop saying yes to everyone who asks you out. Because I know sometimes you can get in a rut and then you go out and [think], “This guy just said I’m cute, and he’s a lawyer, and he lives here, and he’s really great except I’m totally not attracted to him, but I’ll go out with him anyway and maybe I could be attracted to him.” The thing is: If you can’t be attracted to him then you can’t be attracted to him.

    JM: If you’re dating the same person over and over then that’s a pattern in you, it’s not a pattern in them. So what you want to do is look at what is similar in all these guys and go, “Hmm, clearly that’s my problem.”

    SM: What day-to-day activities can we do to meet new, quality people?

    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you do

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    s a lawyer, and he lives here, and he’s really great except I’m totally not attracted to him, but I’ll go out with him anyway and maybe I could be attracted to him.” The thing is: If you can’t be attracted to him then you can’t be attracted to him.

    JM: If you’re dating the same person over and over then that’s a pattern in you, it’s not a pattern in them. So what you want to do is look at what is similar in all these guys and go, “Hmm, clearly that’s my problem.”

    SM: What day-to-day activities can we do to meet new, quality people?

    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you do

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    the same person over and over then that’s a pattern in you, it’s not a pattern in them. So what you want to do is look at what is similar in all these guys and go, “Hmm, clearly that’s my problem.”

    SM: What day-to-day activities can we do to meet new, quality people?

    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you do

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    When it comes to the undesirable side-effects of an increasingly 'unwired' world, poor mobile phone etiquette is today without doubt the world's biggest collective gripe. Many companies and organizations are now taking active steps to cultivate more socially acceptable use of mobile phones, among them many of the biggest cellular operators and leading equipment vendors.Most, in fact, have now produced booklets on mobile etiquette, and have a policy of asking their own staff to turn off their phones while in meetings. At Harrods's, in London, shoppers are asked politely to turn off their phones as they ent
    >

    MK: The best way to seriously break out of a rut is to change the energy around you. It may sound new age-y, but the energy around you really influences the way you feel and the way people act around you. Some ways to change the energy around you is to exercise (if you don't already). Do something different. If you normally bike or run, go on a hike in the mountains or go swim in a pool. Acupuncture is also an easy way to change your energy. Try committing to acupuncture twice a week for a month and see how that changes your "rut."

    SM: What if we start getting down on ourselves for dating these problem guys?

    MK: Girls that find themselves in a rut [can] look at themselves and be in acceptance of where they are. A lot of times just looking at the reality and not always saying, “What’s wrong with me?” but rather saying, “I’m in this phase right now and this is where I’m at,” [is enough]. Trust your process and that it’s all going to work out.

    JM: And some of these guys you date are lessons to be learned. They’re very valuable in your life and you want to have gratitude for that as opposed to feeling like a failure.

    SM: How can you break your bad dating pattern? Is being aware of it enough?

    MK: Really be clear on what it is you’re looking for. Write it down and make a list of what you want and start asking the universe for it.<

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