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Hub You - Overcoming Fears of Intimacy
Strange title for an article on debt, you might think, but what I’m doing here is throwing out a rubber ring into the sea of debt. It’s not going to rescue you and take you back to dry land. What it is going to do is give you something to hang on to while you get your bearings and hopefully, having done that, you can start swimming in the right direction.OK, enough analogies for now, let’s look at the problem. This is the first most important step of solving your debt problems, realising that you both have a p
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – th
According to various industry sources, it appears as if the new iPods are selling incredibly well. Indeed, many skeptics doubted whether the Apple’s new iPod video would be an instant success due to a lack of significant content and the fact that the video isn’t as high of quality as it probably could be. However, despite these potential drawbacks, early reports indicate that Apple is going to be seeing more profits than ever now that the new video iPod has hit the shelves.The 5th Generation Apple iPod is defi
When Sam’s loneliness became overwhelming to him, he called me for help.
“I want to be in a relationship, yet every time I get close to someone, I run away. I’m not even sure what I’m so afraid of, but I must be terrified of something!”
“Sam, what happens inside you when you like someone?” The following answer and resulting dialogue came out over time, but I’ve condensed it here.
“I think that if this person really knew me, she wouldn’t like me. I do all kinds of nice things for her so she will like me. Then after a while I start to feel trapped and I pull back. She gets upset about my pulling back and I then feel even more trapped. Once she gets mad at me, I stop feeling in love with her. That’s when I decide she is not the right one for me. This has happened over and over.”
“So the first problem is that you believe that she won’t like you when she gets to know you. Out of your fear of rejection, you try to control how she feels about you by doing nice things for her. But then you feel trapped and your fear of engulfment – of being controlled by her and losing yourself in the relationship – kicks in. Then you run. It sounds like your underlying fears of rejection and engulfment are controlling your life and not letting you share love.”
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – the
There are certain reasons why some small businesses succeed and some don’t. There are secrets to a small business that give them a better chance than others. Some of them start out the right way with the small business success secrets that they need. Here are the top 3 small business secrets that will help you.Small Business secret #1 – Start out of your home if possibleStarting our small business from your home will eliminate large overhead of a building and will save money on expensive commutes to
“Sam, what happens inside you when you like someone?” The following answer and resulting dialogue came out over time, but I’ve condensed it here.
“I think that if this person really knew me, she wouldn’t like me. I do all kinds of nice things for her so she will like me. Then after a while I start to feel trapped and I pull back. She gets upset about my pulling back and I then feel even more trapped. Once she gets mad at me, I stop feeling in love with her. That’s when I decide she is not the right one for me. This has happened over and over.”
“So the first problem is that you believe that she won’t like you when she gets to know you. Out of your fear of rejection, you try to control how she feels about you by doing nice things for her. But then you feel trapped and your fear of engulfment – of being controlled by her and losing yourself in the relationship – kicks in. Then you run. It sounds like your underlying fears of rejection and engulfment are controlling your life and not letting you share love.”
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – th
All of us want to make a sale. However that sale will only come if we offer our customer exactly what they want.Today, there are many many choices, both online and offline. Do a web search for any one product and you’ll find there are thousands out there selling the exact same product. Then look in your local phone book. Again, you’ll find there are many choices.A friend of mine loves the phrase “I was given two ears and one mouth so that I should listen twice as much as I speak”. This phrase fits righ
“So the first problem is that you believe that she won’t like you when she gets to know you. Out of your fear of rejection, you try to control how she feels about you by doing nice things for her. But then you feel trapped and your fear of engulfment – of being controlled by her and losing yourself in the relationship – kicks in. Then you run. It sounds like your underlying fears of rejection and engulfment are controlling your life and not letting you share love.”
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – th
What is a Debit Card? The card you use at the ATM is known as a debit card. When debit cards first appeared it was easy to tell them apart from credit cards. Debit cards didn’t have a credit card company logo on them; instead, they usually just had your bank name, your account number and your name.Today debit cards look exactly like credit cards even carrying the same logos. Both types of cards can be swiped at the checkout counter , used to make purchases on the internet, or to pay for the fill-up
“So the first problem is that you believe that she won’t like you when she gets to know you. Out of your fear of rejection, you try to control how she feels about you by doing nice things for her. But then you feel trapped and your fear of engulfment – of being controlled by her and losing yourself in the relationship – kicks in. Then you run. It sounds like your underlying fears of rejection and engulfment are controlling your life and not letting you share love.”
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – th
I walked into the classroom with my daughter in one hand and a bag full of hotdog buns and condiments in the other. There were a few students already showing up for the meeting, and they greeted me and the food heartily. As I plopped down my daughter and began arranging the food buffet style, one of the students asked who I was. I explained that I was Chris’ wife. “You cooked all this for his meeting with us?”I looked down at the warmed up hot dogs, store bought buns, bagged chips and bottled soda, and first t
“That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?”
Sam was operating from core shame – the false belief that there was something basically wrong with him. As long as he believed that he was inherently flawed and unlovable, he would fear rejection. Out of his fear of rejection, he would give himself up until he felt trapped, and then he would run.
The part of Sam that believed that he wasn’t good enough is his wounded self. The basis of the wounded self in all of us is our core shame false belief – the belief that we are inherently flawed. Our wounded self does not know that we are a perfect child of God, an individual expression of the Divine. Because the wounded self operates out of false beliefs rather than from the truth of who we really are, it wants to control how people feel about us. Sam needed to develop a loving Adult part of himself – a part of himself connected to a spiritual Source of love and truth – in order to heal his core shame.
The Six Step Inner Bonding process is a profound process for developing the loving Adult and for healing the fears and limiting beliefs of the wounded self. As Sam started to practice Inner Bonding, he slowly developed an Adult self who loved and valued his core Self, his true essence. As he developed this inner sense of personal power, he lost his f
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