Hub You - Relationships

Five Random New Ideas
Generating new ideas is easy if you know the right techniques. Here are five I came up with while watching the snow fall outside the window. Those are followed by a few suggestions for creating new ideas.1. A new kind of answering machine. Answering machines have our own messages, prerecorded messages, and funny messages. How about an answering machine that has different messages depending on who is calling? The idea here is to have the machine connected to the caller ID. If no data is available a generic message plays. But if it is one of the numbers you programmed to hear a certain message, the caller gets a personalized response. "Hi mom, I'm not here right now, but don't worry..."2. Could mosquito blood solve a crime? This idea may be more suited to a fiction story than real police work, but the idea is logical. If a suspect says he wasn't in an area and the police need to prove he was, they could test the blood collected by mosquitoes for the suspect's DNA. Since mosquitoes don't travel far, determining that he was there by finding his DNA in this way would be fairly conclusive.3. Power naps have been

ibility to come out of that darkness a far better person than we were before. A breakup can be a healthy break away from the old ways into brighter days ahead.

Yes, breaking away from the old patterns is scary, and it is the fear itself that makes it difficult to move from recognizing the problems to actually doing something about them.

So, how do you start to change a negative pattern in a relationship with someone you love? Or someone you only think you love when what you really love is the security of feeling you are not all alone?

Well, either way, you begin by loving your self.

If you are married or living together, do not get caught up in the negativity of the other’s dysfunction. You do not have to fight back when you are faced with negative comments. You certainly do not have an obligation to cook, do laundry, clean, or be home for this person either.

If you are barraged with undermining treatment, just do things for you. Cook for yourself only! Take yourself out to a movie at night, alone! Go out to dinner, alone, or with a friend or neighbor. And do let your negative partner know that when he or she has grown enough to display common courtesy and respect toward you, then you would be happy to do those things again.

No fighting, no hysteria, and no you to turn to, to fulfill their needs, when they do not treat you with the respect you are entitled to. As you take a stand for you, remain calm and peaceful.

As you grow to love you,
something wonderful happens.
Your need for the other vanishes.

If they do desire your company, then they will treat you appropriately. And then you can choose to be there for them again.

eBay Explained: Private Auctions
You may not be familiar with private auctions on eBay as they are only used by the minority of sellers. Private auctions, are exactly the same as regular auctions except you can not see who you are bidding against. All users who participate in these auctions are completely unknown to each other.The first time I bidded in a private auction I was a little skeptical, after all it would be very easy for the seller to take advantage of the privacy factor & bump up the auction price though the practice of shill bidding. I'm guessing I'm not alone here, as a recent survey I conducted amongst my website visitors showed 27% of eBayers would be unlikely to bid in a private auction.However, there are some very good reasons for using a private auction. Firstly, it provides privacy to both parties - the seller and the winning bidder. If your auctioning off something that may be considered embarrassing or perhaps something of an adult nature bidders may not want this item shown on their feedback profile. With a private auction, both parties can still leave feedback but the item number will be unavailable to cli

I used to be the world’s biggest doormat, so I speak from personal experience here. If you are a doormat, then you have not taken personal responsibility to actively change your life.

Instead, you whine, cry, feel miserable, dance as the controller pulls your puppet strings, and choose to remain in your familiar comfort zone of misery. You don’t dare to risk the unknown.

You don’t dare to love yourself.

You don’t dare to see yourself existing and even thriving
under the dictates of no one but yourself.

Perhaps you are not being controlled, but you have been stuck in a pattern of trying to get your partner to respond to your needs. Did you ever consider that you could stop trying, and fill those needs yourself?

The reason so many of us are trying so hard is that we each have a hole within, and that hole can only be filled by ourselves, which is the hardest thing to do.

Do not think that as the author of this book, I sit on a throne of relationship perfection, all whole, all together, without a shred of work to do on myself. That would be the lie of the millennium.

We learn the most from our greatest mistakes. When we try so hard to force another to be or act a certain way, and we are unsuccessful, we are left with only one choice: the mirror.

Wanting to know why others treat us the way they do is like asking the mirror why it shows us our reflection.

What you see in the mirror are your areas of growth, not the other person’s. You have a responsibility to open your eyes to your growth rather than to focus on the other person’s.

Ask yourself, “What do I want from my partner that I am not giving to myself?” If a pattern repeats itself in your relationships, ask yourself, “What am I trying to get? What outcomes am I so attached to?” You will find that there is an area within that needs to be healed – by you. For me, that area involved love and validation. To be perfectly loved meant that I was lovable. It was the proof I never had growing up. It was the validation I never had when I was a child.

I sought love from someone else to fill that hole within. That hole caused me to feel and act needy and clingy; it caused me to give, give, and give. I felt depleted, hurt, angry, and resentful. What I really needed most was to love and validate me, need me, and be good to me. I learned that if someone else could not do that for me, for whatever reason, it was not a reflection of my own worth.

The behavior of another never reflects your own worth. It may be, however, a genuine reflection of a part of you that lies so deep and is crying out to be healed. This healing only you can give to yourself. It can never come from another. And the more we try to get it from another, the more resistance we will encounter.

Eventually, the resistance builds to the breaking point. We pull, and tug, and demand, when all the while we need to pull back, pull within, and reach deep down to bring out what we are so afraid we can never get: love.

Beneath the veneer of status and success, so many of us just want to feel we are lovable, worthy, accepted, and valued. The other night in my kitchen, I thought of a simple analogy. If you were a doughnut, and you sought to fill your hole with love from another doughnut, and it poured its flour into your center hole, would it ever fill it? No matter how many doughnuts (or relationships) you go through, no one can fill that hole within. No matter what others do, your hole will still be there.

But if you fill your own hole with self love, approval, validation, and joy, then you will truly enjoy what others add, because you will feel and be complete.

I admit that I just learned this. I made mistakes, had failures, and focused on another person when all the while I should have been giving to myself.

The pressure we place on others to fill that hole drives them away. It is not fair. It is not necessary, and it must change. You must change it. I had to learn to love me and give me what I kept trying so very hard to get from another. I had to learn to recognize the pattern. And I learned that whenever I went into giving overload, pouring out my heart, giving to another with little or no return, that was when I needed to give to myself.

When we recognize an old, ingrained pattern,
then we take personal responsibility to change it for the better.

As we change the patterns, the negative effects they have had on our lives go away, and we heal.

As the inner pain goes away, we feel peace. That is what I feel when I heal. Pure inner peace. I found my source of love and fulfillment: it lies within. It does not lie within the other. It lies within oneself.

If you have ruined a relationship due to this common pattern, take heart. If the one you love truly loves you, he or she most probably will return. Your new, authentically empowered, and genuine growth will be felt, seen, sensed, and will naturally bring what you were previously seeking from the other. The pressure will be gone. Your inner need will be gone. Then, you can have the type of relationship you want. So, again, what do you want for yourself? How do you prefer to feel when you are in a relationship?

If you consciously choose to create the relationship you deserve with your self, you will find that you will no longer entertain the company of those who undermine you or those who simply are not right for you. You will never settle again!

Would you serve cookies and tea to a person
who walked through your front door
and defiled your home?
No, you would not!

So why would you continue to serve a person who defiles you on a daily basis? A person who does not honor and respect you?

Your whole paradigm will change once you receive what you need from your inner self.

If these issues surface in one partner in a truly empowering relationship, his or her healing will naturally spark the desire for healing in the other partner. There would be no struggle. Change would be a matter of preference, not obligation. The other would either grow or not.

We do not have any right to demand that another grow for us.
The growth of another is not our responsibility.

Yet, relationships bring out our greatest challenges. That’s why they are so special. When we honor and respect the idea that self growth, relationship growth, and getting to the other side of those challenges requires time, patience, and dedication, we are not so inclined to throw in the towel when we encounter problems.

That is the beauty of working through the challenge: the rewards are indescribable.

Sometimes a breakup is the only way to bring about the environment we need for self-contemplation and self-realization.

A breakup is not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes, it is the darkness before the dawn: the darkness of introspection and self truth, which reveals to us our greatest mistakes, our areas most in need of healing, and our responsibility to come out of that darkness a far better person than we were before. A breakup can be a healthy break away from the old ways into brighter days ahead.

Yes, breaking away from the old patterns is scary, and it is the fear itself that makes it difficult to move from recognizing the problems to actually doing something about them.

Well, either way, you begin by loving your self.

No fighting, no hysteria, and no you to turn to, to fulfill their needs, when they do not treat you with the respect you are entitled to. As you take a stand for you, remain calm and peaceful.

As you grow to love you,
something wonderful happens.
Your need for the other vanishes.

If they do desire your company, then they will treat you appropriately. And then you can choose to be there for them again.

Samsung X830: Personal Jukebox In A Mobile Phone
Music phones have been a great hit among users. The modern lifestyle coupled with portability of these mobile handsets have been the main reasons behind it. Music phones relives you from the burden of carrying a Walkman player while you are travelling. Apart from that they support a wide range of other features, catering to everyday needs. Sensing the popularity of music phones, every popular manufacturer has added mobile phones with music capabilities in their product portfolio. Samsung too has a good number of music phones of which Samsung X830, is a popular choice.Samsung X830 is a sleek handset which has swivelling opening mechanism. Available in attractive colors including Black and Pink makes it contemporary and stylish. Amazingly compact, this mobile phone from Samsung features a state-of-the-art music player, 1.3-megapixel camera and many other features to meet your various needs.Muisc in the ultimate selling point of this handset and the manufacturer doesn't disappoint on that account. The feature rich music player supports multiple audio formats like MP3, AAC, AAC+, e-AAC+ and WMA. Sam

I trying to get? What outcomes am I so attached to?” You will find that there is an area within that needs to be healed – by you. For me, that area involved love and validation. To be perfectly loved meant that I was lovable. It was the proof I never had growing up. It was the validation I never had when I was a child.