Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

Notes, References, and Further Reading

• A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
• Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html

• Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
• Buss, David.(
  7 Strategies For Effective Distributed Teams
  Currently companies are investing significant amounts of investment in distributed, mobile and remote workers the aim of reducing operating costs. This article details 7 proven ways to realise significant returns on these investment.1. Introduce benchmarks to assess/measure performanceIt is key before undertaking any business organisational change is to understand exactly what the objective of the exercise is and to set targets so that progress towards the objectives can be understood and measured. You should establish 'savings targets' a soon as possible, both for improvements in team efficiency, reduction of staff costs and cost of accommodation. During the course of, and after, the implementation you should regularly monitor actuals against estimates to ensure that savings are actually as anticipated.2. Standardise your implementation strategyA major issue which the implementation of equipment for remote workers causes is the provision of subsequent infrastructure and technical support. I would recommend that a strategy of standardisation is adopted (I will not recommend specific vendors here.. as by the time you read this, because of the nature of the IT market currently - any recommendations will probably be out of date). Also strongly recommended is the establishment of an asset register if your organisation does not already have one. This also improves the ability to sup
  Mary Sue's Always Been Out There: The Perfect Hero and the Perfect Heroine

  Every archetype has a positive and a negative side. As we saw in the Three-Dimensional Villains article, the villain is the negative aspect of the shadow, while creativity is the positive. To further complicate things, everyone has both anima and animus--the anima is just more evident in the male and the animus in the female.

  The Influence of the Animus: Women's Heroes and Heroines

  It's easy to create an ideal man or woman for your stories. If you're female, your ideal woman is usually a Mary Sue (your idea of the perfect woman--usually smart, sexy, hyper-competent, and of course devastatingly gorgeous), while your idealized love interest takes the shape of your animus. If he's dark and dangerous, you're projecting negative animus; if he's sensitive and committed, you're projecting positive animus. In most cases, you'll probably see both. (Please note that many if not most writers avoid using their ideals in pure form, and recognizing them is not the same thing as falling prey to them.)

  Animus

  The positive animus is assertive, thoughtful, rational, powerful, courageous, objective, honorable, and wise, qualities embodied by characters like King Arthur, Prince Charming, Robin Hood, Zorro, and modern superheroes like Superman.

  Female characters with strong animuses are usually quite feminine, but rather than drawing strength from seduction or manipulation, they draw it from something inside, like Lois Lane (Superman), Princess Leia (Star Wars) or Ellen Ripley (Alien).

  The negative animus also carries shadow qualities in that it's ruthless, opinionated, destructive, brutal, reckless, and cold in the way Bluebeard, Harry Potter's Voldemort, and Superman's Lex Luthor are. Female villains like Cruella deVil, Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and the Wicked Witch of the West all have strong negative animuses.

  According to Jungian scholar Marie-Louise Von Franz:

  The male personification of the unconscious in the woman -- the animus -- exhibits both good and bad aspects, as does the anima in man. But the animus does not so often appear in the form of an erotic fantasy or mood [as the anima often does to men]...even in a woman who is outwardly very feminine the animus can be an equally hard and inexorable power. One may suddenly find oneself up against something in a woman that is obstinate, cold and completely inaccessible.

  The Influence of the Anima: Men's Heroes and Heroines

  If you're male, your ideal man is usually a Marty Stu (your idea of the perfect male--clever, powerful, handsome, and super-capable) and your idealized love interest is your anima. If she's a femme fatale, you're projecting negative anima; if she's lady, you're projecting positive anima.

  Anima

  The positive anima provides guidance and is patient, compassionate, tender, nurturing, intuitive, life-giving, loving, and considerate, embodied by mythological priestesses and sibyls as well as characters like Snow White, the Virgin Mary, Peter Pan's Wendy, Beatrice in Dante's Paradiso, and Belle in Beauty and the Beast. In stories, anima figures teach heroes to recognize these qualities in themselves: think Maria in the Sound of Music, Cosette in Les Miserables, and Arwen in The Lord of the Rings. Male characters with positive animas have heart without being weak, like Christian from Moulin Rouge, Cameron from 10 Things I Hate About You, and Wesley from the Princess Bride.

  The negative anima carries shadow qualities in that it's moody, uncertain, vain, catty, dangerously tempting, insecure, overbearing, and hypersensitive, embodied by characters like the Greek Sirens, the German Lorelei or the Slavonic Ruskala, wicked witches and wicked stepmothers, the vain Queen in Snow White, or Maleficent in Disney's Sleeping Beauty. In stories, these women are often difficult or dangerous but often alluring, like Mystique in the X-Men films or the Dark Phoenix in the X-Men comics. Male characters with negative animas are moody, unpredictable, and dangerous like Commodus in the film Gladiator.

  Antiheroes

  Some characters have both positive and negative aspects of the anima or animus, creating anti-heroes, flawed heroes, and sympathetic villains.

  In the film Terminator 2, Sarah Connor's positive animus is evident in her heroic determination to save her son and the world, but her negative animus is also strong in that her methods are often brutal and heartless.

  In Gladiator, as noted above, Commodus displays a strong negative anima in that he's petulant and emotional, but he's also drawn strongly to the kind of positive anima he can't find in himself, embodied by his sister Lucilla.

  Gone with the Wind's Scarlett O'Hara has a strong positive animus that displays determination, independence, and protectiveness, but she also has a lot of unpleasant anima qualities--she's given to histrionics and manipulative ploys.

  Falling in Love is Easier than Making it Last

  The anima and animus may help us find passionate relationships, but research shows that there are a lot of things that can destroy them. From a Jungian perspective, a relationship is doomed to crumble when you're real-life lover can't live up to the idealized image of the anima or animus you've projected.

  Story characters who fall in love with a fantasy--like Scarlett O'Hara's infatuation with the undeserving Ashley--are doomed to be disappointed when the real, flawed person shows through. Sometimes falling in love with one's anima or animus isn't what's really best for us. As Scarlett learns when she meets Rhett Butler, sometimes what we need most is what infuriates us the most.

  The Three Essential Parts of Love

  Attraction is an interesting thing, and it comes in different flavors. According to Robert Sternberg, all types of love and attraction can be arranged in a triangular shape. The points are:

  1. Liking (intimacy and sharing - alone, this is "friendship")
  2. Passion (strong emotions and sexual attraction; alone, this is "infatuation")
  3. Commitment (intentions to stay in spite of difficulties; alone, this is "empty love")

  Between liking and passion is romantic love; between liking and commitment is companionate love; between commitment and passion is fatuous love.

  Anima/animus attractions usually start with passion--they're that jaw-dropping desire for someone you don't know well, but who just "does it" for you. The danger of anima/animus attractions is that they're actually projections of our own anima/animus. As we get to know the other person, we are either disillusioned because they don't fit the idealized image we're projecting onto them, or we come to know them as people and fall in love with them because we also like them.

  Love that includes liking, passion, and commitment is what Sternberg calls "consummate" or perfect love. But while it's solid and makes us feel whole, it's not effortless. Psychologist John Gottman researches what makes relationships last or fail, and he can predict whether a couple will divorce with 96% accuracy.

  The Four Horsemen of a Doomed Relationship

  Gottman has demonstrated that the four behaviors, which he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" endanger any relationship, and when combined with an inability to "make successful repair attempts," they doom it.

  The horsemen are expressed through body language as much as through verbal behavior; when they appear often, they predict divorce in the 80% range.

  1. Criticism - This goes beyond complaining about an action or behavior and becomes an attack on the other person; the word "you" coupled with "never" or "always" is usually an indicator. "Why don't/can't you ever...?" or "Why do you always...?" or "You never..."
  2. Contempt - Disdain, disgust, sneering, contempt, demeaning mocking, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, and hostile humor.
  3. Defensiveness - Refusal to accept some responsibility, defensiveness amounts to "The problem isn't me, it's all you."
  4. Stonewalling - Usually known as "the silent treatment, facing a stonewaller is like talking to a brick wall. It doesn't budge, and it doesn't discuss. 85% of the time, men are the stonewallers. Women are more likely to criticize.
  About 85% of couples who are able to make successful repair attempts by using humor or taking a break to deescalate and regain perspective stay married.

  As uncomfortable as conflict usually is, it's necessary for a healthy relationship. People who don't argue aren't communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there's nothing available to patch them back together.

  Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

  When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

  In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

  Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

  Notes, References, and Further Reading

  • A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
  • Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html
  • Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
  • Buss, David.(2
    Affordable Health Insurance Quotes Individual And Family - The Pro's & Con's Of Raising Your...
    There are some things you can do to get affordable health insurance quotes for individual and family. This may mean paying more on your regular visits to the doctor, however it can prevent you from being stuck with several thousand dollars worth of medical bills in the event of an emergency. Let's take a look at how this is done.One of the best ways to make health insurance coverage more affordable is by raising your deductible. The deductible is the amount of money that you must pay out of pocket each year before your insurance will take over the payments for you. Example, let's say that you were riding your bike and you got in an accident which resulted in you breaking your arm. In this case you would pay for the deductible amount out of pocket and the insurance would pay the difference, if the amount exceeded the deductible.A deductible is usually set at anywere from $100-$5000 or more. The lower your deductible is, the higher your insurance premiums will be. Let's do one more example just to make certain that you understand how this works. Let's say that your deductible was $1000 and you got in the accident as described above. Let's say the total costs for you being seen, having x-rays done, seeing a doctor and getting taking care of were $2000. In this example you would pay $1000 out of pocket and the insurance company would pay the other $1000.By choosing a higher premium you can subst
    man. But the animus does not so often appear in the form of an erotic fantasy or mood [as the anima often does to men]...even in a woman who is outwardly very feminine the animus can be an equally hard and inexorable power. One may suddenly find oneself up against something in a woman that is obstinate, cold and completely inaccessible.

    The Influence of the Anima: Men's Heroes and Heroines

    If you're male, your ideal man is usually a Marty Stu (your idea of the perfect male--clever, powerful, handsome, and super-capable) and your idealized love interest is your anima. If she's a femme fatale, you're projecting negative anima; if she's lady, you're projecting positive anima.

    Anima

    The positive anima provides guidance and is patient, compassionate, tender, nurturing, intuitive, life-giving, loving, and considerate, embodied by mythological priestesses and sibyls as well as characters like Snow White, the Virgin Mary, Peter Pan's Wendy, Beatrice in Dante's Paradiso, and Belle in Beauty and the Beast. In stories, anima figures teach heroes to recognize these qualities in themselves: think Maria in the Sound of Music, Cosette in Les Miserables, and Arwen in The Lord of the Rings. Male characters with positive animas have heart without being weak, like Christian from Moulin Rouge, Cameron from 10 Things I Hate About You, and Wesley from the Princess Bride.

    The negative anima carries shadow qualities in that it's moody, uncertain, vain, catty, dangerously tempting, insecure, overbearing, and hypersensitive, embodied by characters like the Greek Sirens, the German Lorelei or the Slavonic Ruskala, wicked witches and wicked stepmothers, the vain Queen in Snow White, or Maleficent in Disney's Sleeping Beauty. In stories, these women are often difficult or dangerous but often alluring, like Mystique in the X-Men films or the Dark Phoenix in the X-Men comics. Male characters with negative animas are moody, unpredictable, and dangerous like Commodus in the film Gladiator.

    Antiheroes

    Some characters have both positive and negative aspects of the anima or animus, creating anti-heroes, flawed heroes, and sympathetic villains.

    In the film Terminator 2, Sarah Connor's positive animus is evident in her heroic determination to save her son and the world, but her negative animus is also strong in that her methods are often brutal and heartless.

    In Gladiator, as noted above, Commodus displays a strong negative anima in that he's petulant and emotional, but he's also drawn strongly to the kind of positive anima he can't find in himself, embodied by his sister Lucilla.

    Gone with the Wind's Scarlett O'Hara has a strong positive animus that displays determination, independence, and protectiveness, but she also has a lot of unpleasant anima qualities--she's given to histrionics and manipulative ploys.

    Falling in Love is Easier than Making it Last

    The anima and animus may help us find passionate relationships, but research shows that there are a lot of things that can destroy them. From a Jungian perspective, a relationship is doomed to crumble when you're real-life lover can't live up to the idealized image of the anima or animus you've projected.

    Story characters who fall in love with a fantasy--like Scarlett O'Hara's infatuation with the undeserving Ashley--are doomed to be disappointed when the real, flawed person shows through. Sometimes falling in love with one's anima or animus isn't what's really best for us. As Scarlett learns when she meets Rhett Butler, sometimes what we need most is what infuriates us the most.

    The Three Essential Parts of Love

    Attraction is an interesting thing, and it comes in different flavors. According to Robert Sternberg, all types of love and attraction can be arranged in a triangular shape. The points are:

    1. Liking (intimacy and sharing - alone, this is "friendship")
    2. Passion (strong emotions and sexual attraction; alone, this is "infatuation")
    3. Commitment (intentions to stay in spite of difficulties; alone, this is "empty love")

    Between liking and passion is romantic love; between liking and commitment is companionate love; between commitment and passion is fatuous love.

    Anima/animus attractions usually start with passion--they're that jaw-dropping desire for someone you don't know well, but who just "does it" for you. The danger of anima/animus attractions is that they're actually projections of our own anima/animus. As we get to know the other person, we are either disillusioned because they don't fit the idealized image we're projecting onto them, or we come to know them as people and fall in love with them because we also like them.

    Love that includes liking, passion, and commitment is what Sternberg calls "consummate" or perfect love. But while it's solid and makes us feel whole, it's not effortless. Psychologist John Gottman researches what makes relationships last or fail, and he can predict whether a couple will divorce with 96% accuracy.

    The Four Horsemen of a Doomed Relationship

    Gottman has demonstrated that the four behaviors, which he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" endanger any relationship, and when combined with an inability to "make successful repair attempts," they doom it.

    The horsemen are expressed through body language as much as through verbal behavior; when they appear often, they predict divorce in the 80% range.

    1. Criticism - This goes beyond complaining about an action or behavior and becomes an attack on the other person; the word "you" coupled with "never" or "always" is usually an indicator. "Why don't/can't you ever...?" or "Why do you always...?" or "You never..."
    2. Contempt - Disdain, disgust, sneering, contempt, demeaning mocking, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, and hostile humor.
    3. Defensiveness - Refusal to accept some responsibility, defensiveness amounts to "The problem isn't me, it's all you."
    4. Stonewalling - Usually known as "the silent treatment, facing a stonewaller is like talking to a brick wall. It doesn't budge, and it doesn't discuss. 85% of the time, men are the stonewallers. Women are more likely to criticize.
    About 85% of couples who are able to make successful repair attempts by using humor or taking a break to deescalate and regain perspective stay married.

    As uncomfortable as conflict usually is, it's necessary for a healthy relationship. People who don't argue aren't communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there's nothing available to patch them back together.

    Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

    When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

    In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

    Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

    Notes, References, and Further Reading

    • A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
    • Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html
    • Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
    • Buss, David.(
      Article Marketing - Explaining the Mystery of Article Marketing
      Article marketing is one of the easiest ways to generate quality targeted traffic to your web site, and yet it remains a mystery to so many people online.I intend to take the mystery out of article marketing in this article – why is of course written as part of a massive article marketing campaign.So what is article marketing?Article marketing involves the writing of short internet based articles for the purpose of submitting them to online article directories which will publish the articles as content for their own website and offer the articles as content for other websites. This provides content for their web sites, and in exchange, they are willing to give your link some exposure.One of the keys to article marketing is creating an author bio which includes at least one link to your website, and is generally placed at the end of your article. This link is one of the most critical components of the article marketing strategy, as that link will drive the bulk of the traffic that is central to just about any article marketing purpose. When people click on your link, they of course get to visit your site – and the rest is up to you.When you submit your articles to an online article directory, they will first approve or disapprove the article based on its quality and relevance to the theme of their website. In most cases, if the articles are written with decent language and grammar, a
      es, and sympathetic villains.

      In the film Terminator 2, Sarah Connor's positive animus is evident in her heroic determination to save her son and the world, but her negative animus is also strong in that her methods are often brutal and heartless.

      In Gladiator, as noted above, Commodus displays a strong negative anima in that he's petulant and emotional, but he's also drawn strongly to the kind of positive anima he can't find in himself, embodied by his sister Lucilla.

      Gone with the Wind's Scarlett O'Hara has a strong positive animus that displays determination, independence, and protectiveness, but she also has a lot of unpleasant anima qualities--she's given to histrionics and manipulative ploys.

      Falling in Love is Easier than Making it Last

      The anima and animus may help us find passionate relationships, but research shows that there are a lot of things that can destroy them. From a Jungian perspective, a relationship is doomed to crumble when you're real-life lover can't live up to the idealized image of the anima or animus you've projected.

      Story characters who fall in love with a fantasy--like Scarlett O'Hara's infatuation with the undeserving Ashley--are doomed to be disappointed when the real, flawed person shows through. Sometimes falling in love with one's anima or animus isn't what's really best for us. As Scarlett learns when she meets Rhett Butler, sometimes what we need most is what infuriates us the most.

      The Three Essential Parts of Love

      Attraction is an interesting thing, and it comes in different flavors. According to Robert Sternberg, all types of love and attraction can be arranged in a triangular shape. The points are:

      1. Liking (intimacy and sharing - alone, this is "friendship")
      2. Passion (strong emotions and sexual attraction; alone, this is "infatuation")
      3. Commitment (intentions to stay in spite of difficulties; alone, this is "empty love")

      Between liking and passion is romantic love; between liking and commitment is companionate love; between commitment and passion is fatuous love.

      Anima/animus attractions usually start with passion--they're that jaw-dropping desire for someone you don't know well, but who just "does it" for you. The danger of anima/animus attractions is that they're actually projections of our own anima/animus. As we get to know the other person, we are either disillusioned because they don't fit the idealized image we're projecting onto them, or we come to know them as people and fall in love with them because we also like them.

      Love that includes liking, passion, and commitment is what Sternberg calls "consummate" or perfect love. But while it's solid and makes us feel whole, it's not effortless. Psychologist John Gottman researches what makes relationships last or fail, and he can predict whether a couple will divorce with 96% accuracy.

      The Four Horsemen of a Doomed Relationship

      Gottman has demonstrated that the four behaviors, which he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" endanger any relationship, and when combined with an inability to "make successful repair attempts," they doom it.

      The horsemen are expressed through body language as much as through verbal behavior; when they appear often, they predict divorce in the 80% range.

      1. Criticism - This goes beyond complaining about an action or behavior and becomes an attack on the other person; the word "you" coupled with "never" or "always" is usually an indicator. "Why don't/can't you ever...?" or "Why do you always...?" or "You never..."
      2. Contempt - Disdain, disgust, sneering, contempt, demeaning mocking, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, and hostile humor.
      3. Defensiveness - Refusal to accept some responsibility, defensiveness amounts to "The problem isn't me, it's all you."
      4. Stonewalling - Usually known as "the silent treatment, facing a stonewaller is like talking to a brick wall. It doesn't budge, and it doesn't discuss. 85% of the time, men are the stonewallers. Women are more likely to criticize.
      About 85% of couples who are able to make successful repair attempts by using humor or taking a break to deescalate and regain perspective stay married.

      As uncomfortable as conflict usually is, it's necessary for a healthy relationship. People who don't argue aren't communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there's nothing available to patch them back together.

      Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

      When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

      In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

      Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

      Notes, References, and Further Reading

      • A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
      • Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html
      • Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
      • Buss, David.(
        eBay Licensed Merchandise Sales
        eBay licensed merchandise sales have grown during the past five years. It is safe to say that licensed merchandise auctions have been one of the fastest growing segments on eBay.Licensed merchandise has a broad appeal among customers of all ages.eBay bidders are willing to pay a higher price for brand name merchandise because of the popularity of a name, and because of the expected higher quality that brand name merchandise has.You can build a successful eBay business by running auctions for licensed merchandise.In order to be successful in auctioning licensed merchandise you should follow certain key steps.Step #1Make sure that the licensed merchandise you buy is legitimate. With the mass production of knock off merchandise you need to be exceptionally careful that you are buying the real thing.Step #2Shop for the best wholesale source of licensed merchandise. Many wholesalers offer licensed merchandise, but their prices can vary widely. Take a look at www.wholesalequest.com to search for sources.Step #3Have a proof of purchase. If eBay requests proof that the merchandise is legitimate be ready to email or fax a copy of your receipt.Step #4Licensed merchandise will appeal differently based on demographic groups, the same way one age group loves one brand that another age group could live without.Describe your licensed merchandise i
        e for someone you don't know well, but who just "does it" for you. The danger of anima/animus attractions is that they're actually projections of our own anima/animus. As we get to know the other person, we are either disillusioned because they don't fit the idealized image we're projecting onto them, or we come to know them as people and fall in love with them because we also like them.

        Love that includes liking, passion, and commitment is what Sternberg calls "consummate" or perfect love. But while it's solid and makes us feel whole, it's not effortless. Psychologist John Gottman researches what makes relationships last or fail, and he can predict whether a couple will divorce with 96% accuracy.

        The Four Horsemen of a Doomed Relationship

        Gottman has demonstrated that the four behaviors, which he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" endanger any relationship, and when combined with an inability to "make successful repair attempts," they doom it.

        The horsemen are expressed through body language as much as through verbal behavior; when they appear often, they predict divorce in the 80% range.

        1. Criticism - This goes beyond complaining about an action or behavior and becomes an attack on the other person; the word "you" coupled with "never" or "always" is usually an indicator. "Why don't/can't you ever...?" or "Why do you always...?" or "You never..."
        2. Contempt - Disdain, disgust, sneering, contempt, demeaning mocking, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, and hostile humor.
        3. Defensiveness - Refusal to accept some responsibility, defensiveness amounts to "The problem isn't me, it's all you."
        4. Stonewalling - Usually known as "the silent treatment, facing a stonewaller is like talking to a brick wall. It doesn't budge, and it doesn't discuss. 85% of the time, men are the stonewallers. Women are more likely to criticize.
        About 85% of couples who are able to make successful repair attempts by using humor or taking a break to deescalate and regain perspective stay married.

        As uncomfortable as conflict usually is, it's necessary for a healthy relationship. People who don't argue aren't communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there's nothing available to patch them back together.

        Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

        When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

        In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

        Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

        Notes, References, and Further Reading

        • A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
        • Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html
        • Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
        • Buss, David.(
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          relationship. People who don't argue aren't communicating, and when their relationships begin to fall apart, there's nothing available to patch them back together.

          Interestingly, the breakdown of traditional relationships has contributed to the conflict that causes so many divorces. When men and women had strictly defined roles, society disdained attempts to cross the gender boundaries in real life--for example, the only way to get your fill of "feminine" if you were male was to spend a lot of time with your wife. Modern society is still reconciling the blurring of the gender lines, sometimes more smoothly than others, and the resulting confusion can only really be addressed through healthy communication. The Syzygy: Pulling it All Together

          When the anima and animus come together, they create Syzygy, a term that represents the same kind of cohesive whole Plato described when the two halves of sundered humans wrap their arms around one another once again become one.

          In real life, finding and getting along with your "other half" is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you're to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

          Think about it this way: There's no way Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler would settle down without ever arguing again, but what fun would they be if they did?

          Notes, References, and Further Reading

          • A nice discussion of the Double is available at http://www.aislingmagazine.com/aislingmagazine/articles/TAM24/TheDouble.html
          • Plato's Symposium is available in multiple places online, but I usually use http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html
          • Buss, David. (2003). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, Second Edition. Allyn & Bacon
          • Buss, David.(2003). The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. Basic Books.
          • Gottman, John. Various. Forget those other books, Gottman's are the real deal. His research is some of the most compelling in couples and marital therapy and is often used by therapists.
          • Von Franz, M. L. (1964). The Process of Individuation. In (Ed.) Carl Jung, Man and His Symbols, p. 198. New York: Laurel